There are 168 hours in a week. Even if you sleep eight hours a night (56 total) and work 40, you still have 72 hours left (72!) to be a friend, partner, parent, artist, athlete, neighbor, and overall well-rounded human. So why does it feel like your job eats up your whole life?
Allow me to introduce a concept I call “hustle without intention.” Most of us were raised to think that output equals worth: Productivity at work became the grown-up version of gold stars; we have to answer emails at 9:37 p.m. or someone “more serious” will surely take our spot. In taking the path of hustle without intention, we didn’t just get good at our jobs—we became our jobs. But pushing towards big career goals at the expense of joy, rest, and fun is the onramp to burnout—and the toxic side of hustle.
Ambition isn’t inherently bad. It’s when it takes over the entire plotline of the movie of your life that it turns toxic. If this sounds familiar, I promise there’s a way out. I am a two-time founder, five-time CMO, and mother of three who struggled to have it all—until I carved out space for all the parts of me I needed to fulfill. It’s easier said than done, but still, it’s doable. Here are three steps you can use to help you reclaim those 72 hours.
1. Meet your characters
My solution is called Character Theory: a framework designed to acknowledge the diverse cast inside of you and why “alignment” is so hard. Inside of each of us live characters with competing needs: the CEO (your ambition), the Lover (your need for intimacy), the Friend (a sense of belonging), the Artist (the spark of creativity), the Caregiver/Doctor (your need for self-care), the Explorer (your curiosity), and more. When you feel disconnected from yourself, it’s usually because one or two characters hijack the script (hi, CEO) while the others never get any screen time.
Here’s the reframe: Alignment actually comes from intentional imbalance. Life moves in seasons. Accept that you can choose which character leads this month, this week, this day, or this moment, and then rotate the camera.
2. Go on an ambition detox
Ambition is fuel. But like anything else, it needs to be moderated. The problem is when it turns into toxic grit, the flavor of ambition that blows past every red flag in the name of “just one more” launch, promo, or after-hours work session. In fact, I’d argue that’s where joy and sustainable success go to die. Two traps fuel toxic grit in particular:
